I'M BEING WATCHED

...and that's a good thing.

Two things have happened in just the last 24 hours - one an event, the other a realization - to remind me that Heavenly Father is watching over us, and he's going to make sure we're alright.

First, a little backstory.

When we were still in Utah, Travis and I started discussing the idea of getting one of those motorized scooters you see people driving around on for him to ride to school down here. This was when we thought we'd be buying a house, so we'd be living a lot further from the school; hence, it would save us a lot more on gas. Then we came across a killer deal on one, so we snatched it up.

As you know, we're now living in an apartment super close to the school. We figured out that between paying for insurance and registration, plus the fact that we're so much closer now, it really just wasn't worth it. So we decided we needed to sell.

We'd been talking every weekend about getting it listed, but we just hadn't yet (and I don't know if you've tried selling a vehicle yourself before, but it's not super easy or fun). Then yesterday afternoon, one of Travis's friends from school called him up to say he had someone who might be interested in the scooter. He handed the phone over to the guy (it was his next door neighbor, and he apparently was right there), and Travis told him about the scooter. Then we emailed him some pictures and more info, and he came by early evening to test drive it.

Then, he came back an hour later, gave us cash for the scooter, and drove it home.

Omigosh.

Not only was that, like, the easiest thing ever, but we could really use the money right now. And BAM. It just fell into our laps. What a miracle.

We are being taken care. This adventure (trial) of med school is going to be super rough; I'm realizing that more and more each week. But we'll be ok. We've got help.

Now, I mentioned two things at the beginning of the blog. That was the first. The second has to do with our housing situation.

Again, you'll need a little backstory.

AZCOM is apparently connected with one of the big state schools in Ohio (I forget which one right now), and for the rotations part of the education, which takes place the third and fourth years of med school, they send about 50 - 60 students to Ohio. Now Travis and I always assumed that was sort of done on a volunteer basis, at least to start with, but apparently it's completely lottery. Oh boy.

I found that out a few days ago. And that itself made me wonder. Then it occurred to me today that, if we had in fact bought a house and then we did in fact move to Ohio two years later, we'd have to pay back the $8000 federal housing credit that we were banking on to get this house thing to work (for those that don't know, first-time home buyers that purchase a house before November of this year qualify for an $8000 tax credit. If you don't owe taxes, you get the cash. But that house has to remain your primary residence for at least 3 years, or you have to pay it all back).

So not only would we be needing to try to sell a house on very short notice in a probably still failing market, but we'd have to make enough profit to pay both realtor's fees and return the $8000 credit.

Omigosh. Again.

That would have been a nightmare.

So now I'm very interested to find out what will happen in two years - if we'll be hanging out here still, or if we'll be packing up and moving to Ohio. Who knows?

But what I do know, as I've said before, is that we're being watched over, and taken care of. However rough these next several years are, we're going to be ok.

We're going to be ok.

GUIDANCE

With everything that's happened to us lately, I can't help but be grateful for the personal revelation we can receive from our Heavenly Father.

As I'm sure everyone knows by now, we were trying endlessly (and failing endlessly, too) to buy a house down in the Phoenix area. It was frustrating and heartbreaking and exhausting. I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely overwhelmed and questioning whether or not we would be living on the streets.

When we found this apartment, we were still planning on vigorously searching for a house. Purchasing a home instead of renting for four (or more) years makes perfect sense, personally and financially. But once we got here, we both started feeling like we were supposed to stay here.

It reminded me a lot of when we first started talking about coming down to Arizona in the first place. Neither of us wanted to come here for Travis's interview, but we did. Afterward, we were both individually growing attached to Arizona, but neither of us said anything at first; we thought the other didn't want to have anything to do with this place. But we were being prompted to realize that this was the right place for us, for whatever reason. And after more discussion and prayer, we knew that it was.

The same thing now has happened with this apartment. We both started to come to this conclusion individually, and then we talked it out and made the decision together. One of the biggest indicators to me that this is right is how at peace I feel with this choice. I would not have been ok with being in an apartment two weeks ago. But now there's nowhere else I'd want to be. That transformation in my attitude is still a little odd to me, and there's a part of me that can't help but continually point out the financial benefits of buying a home instead of renting. But in spite of those things, I'm still ok. I'm better than ok. I'm happy and content and at peace.

It's a decision that may not seem to make a lot of sense to other people, even those who are very close to us and our situation. But that's the thing about personal inspiration. It's personal. No one else could make that decision for us, and no one else should be trying to.

It seems like almost every major decision I've made in my life has been one that doesn't appear to be the logical choice. Whether it was going to school at Penn, moving out to BYU, choosing to stay home now...there was always somebody (and oftentimes myself as well) questioning whether I should really be doing what I was. But each of those decisions was one I was led to by the Lord, and one I had prayed and prayed about, and for whatever reason, I knew it was right. Those decisions have led me to my husband and that happiest times of my life. And even though they were terrifying, and I still don't fully understand some of the reasons behind them, I know that I was following the path I'd been led to by the Lord. And that gives me strength.

We may never know why we're supposed to stay in this apartment right now when, on paper, this decision seems to be completely wrong. But we're following the promptings and the confirmations we've received, and that's all we need. We have each other, and we have our faith.

Nothing else matters.