DIVINE INTERVENTION

For those of you who keep up on my other blog, you're now aware that Travis is no longer in medical school. This is still a topic I don't want to delve into too deeply, because it's a very sensitive and personal one. Still, I want to share a few things.

Medical school had been very hard on me. Unnervingly hard. Especially considering I was not the one doing all the work. Over the last six months, Travis and I had several conversations, where I sobbingly expressed my feelings, along with my desire to be supportive.

I did everything I could to deal with it. The long hours, the constant preoccupation, the new priorities. But I couldn't seem to come to terms with it. Particularly when I would think about the decade that was laid out before us: residencies, nights on call, months away from home on rural rotations. I was very fragile and, quite frankly, a bit of a wreck.

Neither one of us could really understand why this was such a trial for me. I'd like to think of myself as a strong person, and I hated that I was having such a hard time with this. But, as we finally start discussing alternative career paths, we both began to realize that Heavenly Father was working through me to get to Travis.

Let me explain. Travis realized, as he was making this new decision, that he had never prayed about becoming a physician. He had prayed about a mission, about school, about marriage, about the house....but not about this. He had realized his interest in medicine in high school, and had just decided to become a doctor. An understandable choice.

Fortunately for all of us, the Lord always seems to have a better understanding of what's best for us. But, when we choose not to counsel with or listen to Him, there's not too much He can do. We all, thankfully, have our agency. But He will still try to guide us to a path that is better for us. He sometimes just has to use "unconventional methods"...in our case, making me unable to deal with med school.

That may sound kind of strange....but we've had this conversation many times, and Travis has said repeatedly that the only thing that would make him stop and think, reconsider his career path, would be me. Nothing else would have gotten his attention enough, nothing else would have been important enough...but me. And even that took a good six months of misery.

So we talked. And cried. And prayed and prayed and prayed. We were going about it the right way this time. And, amazingly, we were able to reach such a huge decision very quickly, and it was one that we both felt so comfortable and excited about.

Interestingly, the exact moment that Travis told me he was considering withdrawing from medical school, the weight I had felt for the last six months was gone. Completely. I felt lighter and happier than I had in a long time. I was giddy.

He knew that I would support him no matter what. And I knew that too. But it wasn't the right thing for us. And, whether for good or bad, we sometimes put ourselves through tough situations before we come out to the right place.

Prayer is a powerful thing. Utilize it. Don't forget about it. And don't be too stubborn to actually listen when you do pray. Life is hard enough. There's no reason for us to make it any harder on ourselves.

...we both feel very confident that this is the better choice for our family, and for Travis professionally. I think that nursing will better play to his strengths, allow him to really work and interact with patients (which is what he really wants to do), and give him more opportunities for advancement and leadership. I really believe that this career will allow him to be happier with what he's doing.

And it will certainly make us happier together.